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If you had to choose between a man and a bear what would you choose and why would it be the bear? Seven out of eight American women chose that when they were interviewed by Screenshot HQ. The video that gained more than 18 million views asked a few women if they would rather be stuck in a forest with a man or a bear. The determined answers sparked a conversation about gender-based violence all over social media. While the interviewees themselves felt bad about opting for the bear, their arguments boiled down to:
“the bear doesn’t always attack, right?”
Men don’t always attack either. While it is undoubtedly true that men are over-generalised nowadays, with their capacity for empathy and respect for others constantly questioned, we can’t help but ask why? Most problems arise when men rely on outdated rules of the patriarchy to feed their internal manly dignity. When you are born and raised in a society where all you’ve known is a male-centered history, it is hard to think outside of that frame. Uncharacteristic to practice something you have never been taught. Yet, we do live in the most division-free times. Today is the best time for a woman to Be. Why would she still choose the bear?
Maybe because there has never been a bad time to be a (white and cis-gendered) man. We are quick to define today as perfect for a woman when we see the results of all the Feminist movements women have lived through. Movements such as Women’s Suffrage (allowing women to vote), Women’s Rights Movement (fighting for women’s rights at work, in the family, in politics), #MeToo Movement (awareness against sexual harassment). The whirlwind of all that surely ended in more advantageous laws for women, a continuation of the ones brought by the 19th-20th centuries, when the First Feminist Movement started (1848). Yet at the end of the day when I go home, tired from the job that pays me many cents per hour less than my male colleague in the same position, I scroll through an Instagram feed full of anti-sexist calls. If we have achieved so much, when today is such a great time to be a woman, why are we still struggling with the same old topic?
I am tired of it too. Tired of people telling me how grateful I should be, praising what they have given me but taken away from my sisters with darker skin, different faith, who are gender and sexually diverse, have a bigger body, are carrying a stranger’s fetus… I could go on. Go on to show you how your rotten sugar coating for the reality of women today stinks more when you take it in with all your senses. The reality that is controlled by men, not bears.
Here’s the reality. In Laura Killingbeck’s blog where she discusses the same topic from her perspective as a female solo traveler, she describes how the men vs. bear question is synonymous with asking “Are you afraid of men?”. In 2024, seven out of eight women are.
I am not puzzled. When examining statistics on sexual violence, the fact that 45%-55% of women in the European Union have experienced it is alarming, but not the only disturbing aspect. In many countries, it's impossible to obtain accurate statistics due to differing definitions and understandings of non-consensual sex.
Other forms of violence against women that are still anchored in our world include female genital mutilation - a procedure in which female genitals are removed for non-medical reasons, usually so they cannot experience pleasure during sexual acts. More than 200 million women are victims to it, most of them before the age of 5.
A perennial global leader in sexual violence experienced by women is domestic violence. That has been gaining more and more awareness recently. Tumultuous opposition was roaring in many countries in the past year - protests in Bulgaria, Serbia, Kosovo, Greece, Montenegro, Turkey, Italy, France, Australia, the list goes on. All fighting against the fact that 1 in every 3 women worldwide has experienced physical or sexual violence, and this statistic has been backed up with way too many examples. Today, most countries have made domestic violence illegal. Yet, some men still follow their so-called “natural instincts” and disrespect the law. Reminds me of bears.
What a bear also can't do is create AI-generated deepfakes of women for fraudulent sexual videos. This emerging form of sexual violence predominantly affects women (who make up 90% of the victims), demonstrating that physical harm is not the only severe threat. Online abuse can be equally, if not more, damaging and should not be underestimated. People have already started taking action against this with the #MyImageMyChoice movement, however, most governments and laws are still silent on the topic. One exception is the UK government, which established a new law last month. Based on it, people who practice sexual violence using deepfakes will face prosecution.
Given that the Man vs. Bear’s TikTok answers represented the opinions of US women, who live in one of the freest countries, how do you think women from other regions would answer, if they could speak up? When we remove our Western-American perspective, we can explore websites like the World Population Review, which features a global map of the most and least peaceful countries. Taking a deeper dive, we can examine the Women’s Danger Index, which is based on the experiences of female solo travelers. Despite the US ranking lower on the list of dangerous countries for women, this does not diminish the experiences of women there. It simply highlights that if in the USA seven out of eight women are afraid of men, the situation is likely far worse for women living in some of the most unpeaceful parts of the world.
While this article's argument does not align with misandrist views, it does highlight a social media response to the topic that addresses the "not all men" argument: "There are two types of men - those who understand why women choose the bear, and those who are the reason women choose the bear."
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